Two terrified toothpicks stuck
In quivering yellow jello
Slender silhouettes smothered
With gelatinous goo
Not able to move, not able to breathe
Not able to touch, not able to be
Not able to perform the humble duties
Of their courageous calling.

Alas! Alas!
How did it come to pass
That two such noble picks
Landed in this terrible fix?
Was it fate or chance
Accident or happenstance
Or the malicious machinations
Of a singularly sadistic cook?

It matters not
The die is cast
And regardless of intent
These wooden soldiers are now bent
On a path most formidable
Its perils truly unthinkable
If perchance that jello be piled
On the unsuspecting plate of a child.

Two tormented toothpicks stuck
In insidious yellow jello
Their destiny not to be forsworn
None but me left to mourn
O doomed wayfarers
Wrenched from your appointed vocation
May I now sing of your unrivaled nobility!
May I now praise your unmatched magnanimity!